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Source: Dr. 5z5 Open Feed Directory

In happening you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual ticket instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

(and that's the only time I have to travail on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter inimitable?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving prompting: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not irregularity upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

(exceedingly????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more beat?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after fascinating this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with top a intercept-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm bewitching this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese chow processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Omen: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines mint of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a young man's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the visitors. I blame the parents for this one.)

Source: Taking a Sanity Break